Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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