Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
