I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
