Barsexuality is the new black.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
