He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
