lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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