real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my shit smells like andre
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize