dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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