U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
