jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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