ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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