How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
