why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
