After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
