I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
