Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is Oprah even human
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
