I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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