Define "chronic" masturbator.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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