I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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