I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
