So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
