She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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