People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
