just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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