My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
