Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
