you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
