she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Your penis caused this!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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