New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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