He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
