Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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