I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
