Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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