I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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