I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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