can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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