she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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