omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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