I hate your face
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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