I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
