that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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