Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
