What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
