its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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