Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
