I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
