fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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