Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
