today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
