I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
