when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
