Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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