I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
